Brad'sArgument+Writing

Brad Hermsen

Draft Argument
The question of whether children should wear a uniform to school always makes a lively argument, and not only amongst students. Should school uniforms be got rid of? I’m going to introduce reason why they shouldn’t be worn.

We all have a right to individually make personal choices and express our personality. This right of free expression includes the way we choose to dress. Making everyone wear the same school uniform infringes on our rights and is a misuse of authority. However, the right to choose what choose what to wear is particularly important for young people, who often have a other ways to express there personality or making choices about their lives. Some schools have problems with children wearing gang colours. Therefore, many of these schools got rid of the problem by not introducing uniforms, but by having a dress code by banning gang patches and symbols. For cheapness uniform items are often made of polar fleece which are hot in warm weather but don’t keep children properly warm in the winter.

Uniforms are expensive and are sometimes hard for parents to afford. The cost of uniforms often means that parents dislike it and it can lead to a bad relationship between them and the school. There is no evidence that links School uniform to improve students test results. If the teachers don’t have to wear a uniform, why do we? 

**ARGUMENT CRITERIA** Learning Intention: To write an argument, clearly expressing and explaining points of view for and against the topic.  || **1 ** || **2 ** || **3 ** || Introduction doesn’t state what the argument is OR introduction is confused and / or unclear. || Topic is introduced but is not detailed enough to give the reader an in depth understanding of the argument. || Topic is introduced with relevant background information explaining why it is controversial. || Reasons in support of the argument are not convincing, don't support it or are irrelevant. || Reasons are given in support of the argument but lack evidence / examples. || Clear and accurate reasons and evidence given in support of the argument || Reasons against the argument are not mentioned OR they are mentioned but are not convincing / irrelevant ... || Reasons against the argument are discussed but lack evidence or examples. || Reasons against the argument are discussed and supported by factual evidence / examples. || No conclusion. || Conclusion given but it is too brief to summarise the argument or give the writer’s point of view. || Well constructed conclusion. || || Writing is aimless and disorganised OR writing is organised but it is not set in the correct format. || Writing is logically sequenced. || The order and structure of the information is compelling and moves the reader through the text. || Writing is too formal or too informal. It sounds like the writer doesn’t like the topic or doesn't know anything about it (research not used). || Writer seems sincere but is not fully involved - it could have been written by anyone. Some attempt is made to influence / persuade the reader. || Writer speaks directly to the reader. The piece gives a strong sense of the reasons for & against the argument – a persuasive piece of writing. || Words used are often dull or uninspired. No attempt is made to use vocabulary consistent with expositions. || Routine word choices are made but includes some words which are consistent with exposition writing || Used a wide range of words /phrases (transitions) which are consistent with argument writing. || Sentences are incomplete, awkward or don’t make sense; they need work. Many sentences begin the same way. || Sentences are usually constructed correctly. Some variety is attempted with sentence beginnings. || Sentences are well constructed. Sentences vary in length and structure and purposeful and varied sentence beginnings have been used. || No paragraphing OR some attempt has been made to use paragraphs || Paragraphing is mostly correct. || Correct use of paragraphs || Frequent mistakes interfere with the message of the piece of writing. || There are more than a couple of minor errors. || Mainly error free work. || Work has been rushed / left until the last minute and is obviously not a ‘best effort’. || Effort is evident but more times need to be spent carefully editing / correcting the work. || Time has obviously been spent developing ideas into a quality piece of writing. || Self / Peer Comment:
 * Introduction ** ||
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 * Reasons in support of the claim ** ||
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 * Reasons against the claim ** ||
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 * Conclusion ** ||
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 * Organisation **
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 * Voice and Tone ** ||
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 * Word Choice ** ||
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 * Sentence Fluency ** ||
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 * Paragraphs ** ||
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 * Effort (Editing, Time Management) ** ||
 * Effort (Editing, Time Management) ** ||

Teacher Comment: