Callum'sArgumentWriting

Alistair, Callum

Banning the use of mobile phones while driving
Recently using mobile phones while driving has become more common and is becoming more and more dangerous. To improve safety on the roads, mobile phones should be banned while driving. Between 2002 and 2007 there were 411 injury crashes and 27 fatal crashes caused by the use of mobile phones while driving. This argument won’t just stop mobile phones being used while driving, it will also save lives. 10 years ago mobiles were unnecessary; everyone coped without mobile phones then, so why do people always need to be using them nowadays. When people use a handset one hand is taken of the controls, making it easier to have a crash. If the government were to ban the use of phone while driving, that will reduce the amount of crashes happening in total. If a driver needs to make a phone call urgently; the driver can pull over into a parking lane or a side lane so the driver can make a call safety, without risking other people. Dangerous driving endangers not only the individual driver but also passengers and pedestrians. Using a hands free kit could be an option, but at the same time the voice activation technology can be unreliable, making the driver get frustrated and loosing concentration. For some reason the brain treats a telephone conversation differently compared to talking to a passenger, perhaps because the passenger is also aware of the road hazard, where the mobile phone caller cannot be aware of the road hazard. Research shows very little difference between using a handheld compared to a hands free kit, in terms of impaired concentration and breaking reactions in a breaking test. In New Zealand research shows that using a mobile is more dangerous than being drunk. The problem with driving and talking on mobile phones is you get sucked into the conversation and the conversation starts to take precedence over the driving task. New laws would be enforceable; as mobile phone records would be able to show if the phone was in use at the time. If camera technology were to be improved; with automatic detection of drivers who are using their phones would be another solution. It would be unfair to ban one sort of mobile phone and allow another type of mobile phone that is just as dangerous. You don’t have to hold a mobile phone to be distracted, all the driver has to do is think about conversation with a person and their concentration is partly lost. But on the other hand mobile phones can be useful for reporting accidents to emergency services, to alert the police about dangerous driving etc. Mobile phones don’t kill people the dangerous drivers do; and banning the use of mobile phones while driving will only penalise all the good drivers without removing any bad drivers. Therefore using a mobile phone while driving will most of the time be dangerous. I say that mobile phones should be banned because they distract the driver; but also drivers should be allowed to use their mobile phones if they are contacting emergency services. So should mobile phones be banned? **ARGUMENT CRITERIA** Learning Intention: To write an argument, clearly expressing and explaining points of view for and against the topic.  || **1 ** || **2 ** || **3 ** || Introduction doesn’t state what the argument is OR introduction is confused and / or unclear. || Topic is introduced but is not detailed enough to give the reader an in depth understanding of the argument. || Topic is introduced with relevant background information explaining why it is controversial. || Reasons in support of the argument are not convincing, don't support it or are irrelevant. || Reasons are given in support of the argument but lack evidence / examples. || Clear and accurate reasons and evidence given in support of the argument || Reasons against the argument are not mentioned OR they are mentioned but are not convincing / irrelevant ... || Reasons against the argument are discussed but lack evidence or examples. || Reasons against the argument are discussed and supported by factual evidence / examples. || No conclusion. || Conclusion given but it is too brief to summarise the argument or give the writer’s point of view. || Well constructed conclusion. || || Writing is aimless and disorganised OR writing is organised but it is not set in the correct format. || Writing is logically sequenced. || The order and structure of the information is compelling and moves the reader through the text. || Writing is too formal or too informal. It sounds like the writer doesn’t like the topic or doesn't know anything about it (research not used). || Writer seems sincere but is not fully involved - it could have been written by anyone. Some attempt is made to influence / persuade the reader. || Writer speaks directly to the reader. The piece gives a strong sense of the reasons for & against the argument – a persuasive piece of writing. || Words used are often dull or uninspired. No attempt is made to use vocabulary consistent with expositions. || Routine word choices are made but includes some words which are consistent with exposition writing || Used a wide range of words /phrases (transitions) which are consistent with argument writing. || Sentences are incomplete, awkward or don’t make sense; they need work. Many sentences begin the same way. || Sentences are usually constructed correctly. Some variety is attempted with sentence beginnings. || Sentences are well constructed. Sentences vary in length and structure and purposeful and varied sentence beginnings have been used. || No paragraphing OR some attempt has been made to use paragraphs || Paragraphing is mostly correct. || Correct use of paragraphs || Frequent mistakes interfere with the message of the piece of writing. || There are more than a couple of minor errors. || Mainly error free work. || Work has been rushed / left until the last minute and is obviously not a ‘best effort’. || Effort is evident but more times need to be spent carefully editing / correcting the work. || Time has obviously been spent developing ideas into a quality piece of writing. || Self / Peer Comment:
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 * Organisation **
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